Next week… next job…

February 14th, 2008 by hannamustafar

So alhamdulillah I finally got out of the place… for good.

Truthfully I don’t know whether it will be a real good thing for me. But I’m very sure I’m happy that I’m no longer there. And definitely I will be missing my fellow colleagues there…

Next week I will be joining a new place to work. I don’t hope much that it will make me happier that when I was there. It is a new place, new challenges, new colleagues, new building, new salary, new hope I guess…

With His will, all the best to my dear self :)

Daripada Dia Kita Datang, Kepada Dia Kita Kembali… a tribute to Sis Zira

January 22nd, 2008 by hannamustafar

It’s great of Allah our Mighty
Creator to show his love in a lot of ways…

 

My female friend’s husband has
just passed away on 06/01/08 Sunday.
Motorcycle accident. Hit front and back by 2 cars. A car from an opposite side
went into his lane to cut the que and hit him. The car behind had not enough
time to break so hit him too. He’s just in his early 30’s. My friend is just 31
this year with 3 children. The eldest is 5, 2 and 6months of age.

 

When I called her the other day,
just 3 days after the tragedy, she can still laugh joking around telling me off
why I haven’t get married yet. If Alah permit she might marry fist before
me!!!! Again? Now? She’s a maniac!

 

At first I thought she’s just
trying to show strength and all. But I guess she is. She told me, her daughter
once told her: “Kakak tak boleh menagis

kan

mama, nanti malu la dekat sekolah semua org tanya kenapa menangis!” I was
stunned that it came from a 5 yr old girl. What a strong heart she has inside.
I don’t think I can be that strong if I just lost someone I love. An I am 30 of
age.

 

Thinking of the short 6 years
odd they shared together, I’m awaken by the fact that we always overlooked and
forgot to treasure people we have around.

 

Let’s sit for a moment in
silence and think of that and lets change how we treat other people around us
especially those who we love and love us. Don’t let time passed without saying
I love you and show them the proof. We might not have enough time when we wake
up one day realizing we have lost one!

 

Al-Fatihah to the late Noraimi,
and a huge condolence to Sis Zal Azira Ahmad Bakri and family. May Allah bless
his soul and keep him with the souls of Syuhada’ until the Final Day. May we
find the hidayah and meet each other again in the Hereafter in a prepared
condition with iman…. Amin…..

Love… Again!

January 22nd, 2008 by hannamustafar

Love is so global sometimes you don’t
know how to describe. It comes and goes as it wish. Without which we can never
exist in this world.

 

Falling in love could most probably
be the sweetest experience in one’s lifetime. unstopable and undeniable. Hard
to define which is right and which is wrong. Action become spontaneous and
without much thinking or consideration.

 

You will have to decide if you
wanna go against all odds for it or just leave it…old love, current love, new
love… it’s only LOVE…

 

Forgiveness is the Sweetest Revenge

January 8th, 2008 by hannamustafar

What I always forget to start a day with is to forgive and forget myself and others… be grateful for what Allah has given. And this life with iman (faith) to Allah inside our heart is a hell best thing ever happen to me…

Where would I be if not because of Him? Would I know Islam? Would I know those important people in my life, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) my parents, sisters and brothers, great teachers from Hira’ to UiTM, best friends and buddies, working colleagues, friends I met everywhere? Would I have this chance of persuing my study, career and dreams.

Would I know how sweet life is and how sad those stories of war and battles to restore its peace and dignity? I won’t I know…. Thank you Allah, may I have the chance to continue showing my gratitude…

Alhamdulillah I have come to terms with myself today. I won’t talk shit anymore about anyone. I am not perfect myself either. I will just ignore those people affecting me who has transferred their bad energy and aura.

I will not have direct contact unless absolutely necessary.  I will do my job at my place quietly.

Allah knows this is for the better. No more hatred and I will let loose. I never want to find trouble, but it came said hi to me so I had to face it.

It’s an expensive price I paid for a friendship and hard lesson I learned in life since the past few years. That people can be very mean at times and they have different faith in life that some or most of the time they will suit their words / actions with their objective / ambition by hook or by crook. Even if that means hurting other people’s dignity.

I should have a lot of sins to get this, I accept with no question. I am going to sincerely forgive myself and them so then I can set us free from the evilness of anger and heart pain.

May Allah forgive and bless us all with His mighty and may we find the peace in each other again some day, Amen… thank you Allah for all…

my lovely workplace :*

November 7th, 2007 by hannamustafar

Arrived from workplace… work in hell with hell people, so everything seems to be hell! So called ;p well… at least that’s what I thought of today… besides being grateful with everything given by Allah, can’t blame me for hating those stupid insane psycho bangang anak2 setan and all there in the small island, ahahahah, laugh for the love and hatred 

It’s not so bad, but it’s just bad enough… I never know how I survive all these years… I guess I just… a credit to myself for being alive after burnt in the 1st level of hell on earth!

What’s with all the HELL word? I don’t know… I mean everyone has their own way of breathing the air in the office, mine is this I guess… only now friendster is not accessible anymore internally hahahh! Hooray…. 

Today, half of the day, from 3pm till end of my shift, I just do call sim = call simulation. Act as though I’m a customer and call up newbies to test their skills… product, promotion, procedure, verification… ermmmm… kinda mentoring thing. Well can I do like my all beautiful customers, tough leeeyyyy…. 

Tired, frustrated, I don’t keep my feelings and they don’t keep their focus!!! I feel like hugging them with love and bite their ears till they separated from the head??? What the!! Hell again? Erkkkkhhhh….

The thing about newbies, which I was one before, is you are new… so you are new! So? So that’s it, thank you very much!

The motivation is only money, salary and off day… definitely not the nature of the work.

Who likes being asked and had to be answerable to other people’s satisfaction? I do? Do i? ermmmm… it’s quite pathetic and quite the opposite if you come to think that all other works are about the same. The only different is you talk more than other people and you are faced with real risk of being hit by all this ear and nerves cancer, deaf, and whatever problem with your health issue, if of course you don’t drink enough water + supplement, manage your anger (which I’m the best examplewallah!), listen to craps, enjoy your personal time, don’t smoke, smile and just love your boss and your beautiful customers?

Ahah! That’s trick… have I completed that list yet? Well…. Thinking… sort of… kinda….

Do you ask for cahier order’s refund from the bank if the bank owe you RM0.02? I know you do… I will hahaha…. Pretty pathetic n’it? Ermmppphh!

Do you pay interest when you are late by your due date for credit card payment? Depends if you take Islamic product or not right… hmmm very tricky…. Well you know u don’t have to. Call and ask them to waive the charges or demand we terminate your card, well we do love to do that as an excellent cust svc for you, muakhhhs!! :P

Do you care to ask back your forfeited loyalty points when it expired and you overlooked it by let see… 1 year? Ahah! I will, if not, I’ll go to the press, curse people at the call centre and sue the bank for stealing my points  

Next… if you have cash of RM2K and there’s this cr card promo where if you spend let say $8K on your card from certain date (of course you have to pay back before due date that could be next week hahaha to avoid charges), you stand a chance to be 1 of 10 people to win a lcd screen old model at a cost of abt let say RM1.9K… will you really go for it?

Haaaa, I know you will. See, why you know, because my company loss millions buying all the more than 10 lcd screen for all abt 1000 complaint and angry and furious and calling every day non-stop kind customers… well, I guess we have done the best customer service so far… our customer is so loyal uhuhuh 

Am tired… let me continue later… need coffee… pleaseeeee…… I’m fed up, I’m still alive, thank god…. i still have my sanity, tks to my cute customers, which inspires me everyday….

I was just thinking… will I be this excellent if I doo some other nature of job, GPK HEM kat sekolah for example…. Pheeeewwwhhh 

DUGAAN vs. NIKMAT

January 8th, 2007 by hannamustafar

Kadang-kadang hidup
ni Tuhan akan datangkan dgn ujian2 yg x diduga… misalnye aku jatuh moto, aku
bajet bertunang aritu sekian banyak tapi yg abeh terlebey banyak… atau biler
dua anak kucing aku Montok + Skinny meninggal dunia (mati)… hmmm…. Tak termasuk
yg lebih kronik dan malu nak dikongsi bersama public. 

Apepun yang
menyedihkan terpaksa rase sedih juga walau kuat macam maner…. Menangis bukan tanda
lemah, menangis hanya untuk meluahkan rasa supaya x terbuku di dada…. Membersihkan
mata yg dah lama x dicuci eyemo(nyet.. > dulu maser skolah rendah sker sgt) 

Bagi aku… mencari
penyelesaian adalah pengubat luka hati… kalau org lain kater xleh selesai pnyer
pon, aku tetap nak selesaikan… aku tau masalah yg satu tu boleh selesai, usaha
+ doa + tawakkal… demi seorg yg aku sgt syg + cinta, raja hati aku… kalau xleh
selesai gak, nangeh la (kut la boleh selesai ngan ayaq mata yg syahdu). X cepat
selesai, Allah pasti jawab juga bile tibe mase yg sesuai. Mungkin juga x
dijawab skrg kerana akan mendatangkan musibah pada hambaNya… maka ubatnye
adalah sabar

.

 Yang aku tau, aku
akan usaha sehabeh kederat aku menyelasaikan kekusutan yg satu itu.. aku takkan
putus asa dan menjadikan ayaq mata tu melemahkan aku lagi… lagipon ramai
tentera di belakang yg akan doa bersama, amin bersama, usaha bersama, tawakkal
bersama… tadak apa yg boley melemahkan semangat aku + tenteraku… macam tak
biasa ditimpa musibah pulak…

Akak yg accident
teruk dr aku tu upon selamba rilek (dlm hati Tuhan yg lebey tau)… Tuhan sangat
Maha Adil selama ini padaku, Dia tetap begitu selama ini… begitu banyak nikmat
yg dah diberi pada aku + bala tenteraku, kenapa kali ini aku nak ragu2 padaNya…
tak, aku xkan berpaling sebab Dia ada bersama aku + bala tenteraku. Dgn izinNya,
smer yg payah akan jadi mudah…

Satu nikmatNya, aku
dah pun selamat bertunang dengan insan yg paling aku cinta slm ni (wah jiwang
+ poyo kah?) siapa peduli, itu kan hati sendiri… jgn terlalu rumitkan diri dgn panadangan
+ fikiran org lain yg xtahu masalah kite… ambil pandangan org, dengar, hormat +
tapis… bukan tuk melemahkan diri… aku juga berjaya melepasi exam semester lepas
dlm kelam kabut kerja + meneruskan pengajian. Aku juga dapat beli scooter yg
aku idamkan (dah jatuh 2kali dah pun). Dapat balik kpg + meraikan aki yg mendapat satu lagi anugerah Wira
Merdeka… pendek kater byk juga kemanisan yg dianugerahkan tahun lepas untukku…
alhmadulillah.

Maka, dengan ini, Aku
+ bala tentera di depan + belakang, akan tetap mara selagi diizinkanNya.

“Ya Allah, ampunkanlah
dosa-dosa kami + kedua ibubapa kami + rahmatilah mereka sepertimana mereka
membelai kami sewaktu kami masih kecil dahulu, amin”

Aku, Dia dan Hidup: Part 2 – First Date 31st August 2002

December 8th, 2006 by hannamustafar

Okeh, so we were on the commuter. We arrived at KL Sentral. Guess what, with a lot of people came out from the train, he confidently walked out as well. Initially he was blocking people from coming out from the comuter, then he went out, I thought he just wanna let people who wanted to go down to go down first, when he actually went out because he thought that KL Sentral was the station we were supposed to go down at. Well he was just back from a 5 years life in Langkawi, what do you expect?

He walked straight to the nearest lift, I had to embarrass myself calling him in the middle of the crowd so he would turn back and step into the train. With a red embarrass face he stepped in back. We went down at the next station,

Kuala Lumpur

, near the major Post Office building.

I didn’t intend to join the crowd actually. I don’t even like to be in a large crowd (that explains why I rarely go to see a movie or concerts). I was just going to see my second younger brother participating in the volunteer performance for Merdeka at Dataran Merdeka. He was supposed to be in the group who performed the singing with different colors of shirt they wear to create our national flag look on the dataran stand at the edge of one of the main road in front of Mahkamah Tinggi.

Well as you guess, we didn’t make it on time. Filling in the gaps, I suggested us to go up the Mahkamah Tinggi’s building to have views from a higher place and watch the celebration. It was full of police forces guarding the entrance, but somehow we manage to slipped in, hahahaha J we sneaked in slowly and found our ways up to the second level. There was nothing much to watch though as the main performances has ended and people started to move out from the place. He took my picture there and that was the ugliest face I ever gave in a photo. With the hot sun behind my back, I was sweating head to toe, oily face, and a photographer with straight expressionless yet funny look, whose can be pretty in the picture…

Then we head straight to Kotaraya to take the bus straight back to Subang Jaya. We stopped at McDonald’s to have some burgers and light chat. On the bus, he interrogated me deeply (well I’ve just broke up with my third boyfriend so you can imagine the mood) that I failed to keep the change in my face. I didn’t answer all questions in details but he can guess the answers. For all I know he has just broken up with his girl as well just a few days before I did. What a pleasant coincident, shall I say? Erkkk… that’s so mean…

I thought of just go back straight home, then somehow in the middle of the way I thought well it is not a bad idea to stop at Sunway Pyramid fist. After all it’s a public holiday and there’s still time until late evening before I should just end my day in the bed doing nothing. So we went and played bowling at the second floor. The worse part was when he actually took picture of my back throwing the ball on the lane. Guess what? That picture, which was supposed to record a great moment of happiness and my style of throwing the ball, turned out to be the most humiliating photo ever taken from a guy! It shows me bending and my underwear’s line shows so clear with lighting courtesy by Sunway Pyramid Bowl!!!!

Of course I lose the game……pheeewww….

Then we headed to Starbucks and hung out there for few hours having Mocha Ice Blended+whipped cream large size and a slice of blueberry cheese cake; and chatting about ourselves (how romantic and cool…. J ) By that time I have found comfort in having him as a company. We discovered our similarities in our interest and family issues. It was a great first date I had with him, just a simple chilling day spent with great memories and feelings with him.

That day 31st August then became our anniversary every year, where we will make time to go out and spent our time just about anywhere sit and realize the year we shared and developed together, the thick and thin, laughters and cries, success and challenges, well everything.

It sounds so perfect but don’t worry it was not that perfect. The four years we had consist of all sweet and bitter experiences. The process of getting to know someone is definitely not an easy thing. The expectations and hopes sometimes we set without notice always become the challenges that sometimes end up with fight, hurt and pain.

But nevertheless that has never been reasons for us to give up on our relationship. I had made him cry a lot of time because of my inconsideration attitude and so did he. I had made him written me sad letters saying goodbyes and wanna go far away from me so he will not be hurt anymore.

He made me cry many times when he was just sincerely want to share his stories about his study and her female friends in the class so he will never hide anything from me.

So many times we have to listen and see what we do not want to see in each other selves, the ugly part of us. He kentut in front of me all the time, I burped loudly in public in front of him (of course you should always avoid doing that so often :D but welll yeaaaahhhh….)

The fact is, love is perfect only if we accept imperfections. To be truth to our feelings and what we want in the relationship, what one needs from the other and not only one side to be listened to. To be considerate, give and take, sincere and agree on common grounds. Togetherness in discussing and deciding. Giving in but not giving up. The most important thing is to communicate at all time in all ways.

I sure know that I’m not the best or the most matured or experienced person to talk about love but at least we survive to this level and by the way this is only a blog. Of course we are not the most perfect couple in the world. He always tell me, let’s take a step at a time, so we don’t frustrate ourselves with false hopes. We put our efforts, we pray to Allah for eternity happiness and tawakkal (let him determine the fate and the best outcome). That is a true way to do things, Islam’s way of life.

Nothing is ever sure or permanent in this world, even we will die and our body will return to the earth one day. Even I can’t say that we will definitely be together and die together. But what best we can do is to do the level best in whatever we do so we don’t have too many regrets our lives. Not to try the best but do the best!

There’s a say: “work hard in life as if you are living your life for another thousand years and pray to Allah hard as if you are going to die tomorrow”

For all couples in the world, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, fiancés, bestfriends, brothers and sisters, parents and children, bosses and staffs, I pray to Allah, may true love always win its way out and be eternal to everyone who appreciates it. And may the love be the reason to unite us all in different ways and beliefs everywhere, everyway and all the time until the The Final Day.

With that I end my second part of my simple chilling love story. Another Kopi O please….

Aku, Dia dan Hidup: Part 1-Cyberzone (Where Everything Started)

October 19th, 2006 by hannamustafar

It’s been more than 4 years since I know him. I never believed I would really meet a guy like him, someone so incredibly awesome.

I was taking like forever thinking whether I should actually initiate this. Writing about the only one sweet guy in my life I never believe I would meet. Not even once! Not that I look down on myself that I will never meet the Mr Right of my life, but yeah I still do not believe it’s been even 4 years! I don’t even believe I was given the chance to meet him that fine one night…

It is so weird thinking that I don’t even know whether he will definitely be mine or not, but I already so into writing this. I do feel 4 years is a bit long to just get to know someone or in fact being in a so-called serious relationship but I guess we will always be in the learning curve forever no matter what’s the stage of the relationship, family, friends, colleagues, and yeah lovers… than it’s husband or wife, the in-laws, the grandparents-in-laws, the relatives-in-laws …. And the list goes on and on and on…

Is this a right move… well I don’t know… so lets keep writing J

May 2002, after isya’, I went to this cyber café. It was known as Cyberzone. The most  calmest cyber café in the area I guess. Not the quitesr but definitely more peace than others. That’s the main reason I love going there. It was kinda peace and quite, yeah….

Not really actually but it suits my feelings, feelings? Whateva… the music they played from the pc’s MP3 was so soothing and refreshing. It was x hard to the ears… that was my favorite CC since I know what CC is huhuh…

I was with Rona updating my resume, to obviously run away from my current workplace. Looking for better opportunities, hopefully better prospect, satisfaction and of course better RM hehehe… so I was updating my Jobstreet profile and finished doing so I printed out immediately. I didn’t think that I need to quickly take it from the counter as I haven’t planned to go back yet, the night was still young….

Then, it was time to go back. I went to the counter with Rona to pay. I sincerely didn’t notice the face who’s checking on my logging in time. A simple guy who I didn’t bother to look at. While I was going to pay suddenly he said something to us. “sedap nama” I turned to him and Rona, hahaha, still I don’t remember the face. Rona was keeping quite. Then I asked Rona in a very slow voice: “ sedap macam strawberry ke”. Rona just smiled hahaha.

And I never believed that was a guy that I will be falling in love so deep that I don’t know what will my life be without him by m side. Eventually he actually practically stolen my email address.

I received an email the next day from someone I didn’t know asking for a permission to get to know me more. I replied the email without hesitant and there it went, for the next few months until 30/08/02, we were so attached to the email that it became almost like Yahoo Messenger, we write long story crapping all the time every day at least once. At the same time I got new job.

Our main topic was World Cup 2002 in Japan-Korea. When the underdogs worked their way up, I was so excited that from not knowing anything about football I go to be the fastest ‘manual calculator’ for each game and predicted who’s going to be the group’s champion and who might meet who in the quarter, semi and finally the final in the family, faster than my dad who is a football nuts! That was unbelievable! Well at least I use my Math’s skills. So it was a not a waste for getting A1  for Modern Maths in SPM 1995 wahahaha (bragging!)

So busy with the World Cup, I made it an excuse to delay our first meeting up. Well finally after WC finished, we agree to meet on 31/08/02.

We meet at the Subang Jaya Commuter Station about 9am. In the spirit of utilizing the public transport, there we went! It was full loaded with people from as far as Klang with the same intention to go to the Dataran Merdeka to view the festival held there. Wooo! It was so cramp that I couldn’t take the smell of people’s armpit, what more it was a big body guy’s armpit, erkkk… and he was my savior of the morning… Not knowing him that close, I had to force myself to ask him shamelessly if I could just get out of that guy’s armpit and face him, the thing was that it was so cramp that I had to almost hug him. Of course I have put my handbag infront of my body to safe me from any unthinkable thing hahaha! As if the guy’s smelly sweating armpit was not the worse thing to start of my day, first dating some more, ces!

We headed towards Stesen Kuala Lumpur. What happen next… well, let me take a break first, I need a cup of hot coffee please. Old kampong kopi-O pls keh….

Laaa putus lagi? alahai cane nih!

October 19th, 2006 by hannamustafar

 

cinta itu anugerah Allah. kerana cinta kita dilahirkan dan kerana cinta kita kenal Tuhan. mengapa berkeluh kesah pd takdir Allah memisahkan kita dr cinta yg kita sangka sejati. hanya untuk memberi kita yg lebih baik. Dah sah2 dia tu tak baik untuk kiter, tu sebab ditakdirkan berpisah, tul tak… walau apepon la sebabnye… aaahhh! those are just reasons.. sebab menjadikan akibat. cam mati la. dijadikan sebab dia nak g umah kawan dia tengah malan ujan lebat naik kete jalan licin, accident, meninggal, takkan x redha kan? gitu la samer juga ngan cinta.

 

sudahkah kita lupa ditariknya nikmat yg sementra itu demi menguji cinta mu juga pada-Nya dan kepercayaan kamu padaNya?

 

ade kata pujangga: bila Tuhan menjawab doamu cepat itu kerana dia ingin memberi yg lebih baik buatmu, tapi andai dijawab doamu lambat itu kerna Dia Maha Tahu kau masih baik dgn sgl ujian diberikannYa.

 

believe in Him, keep praying, be yourself, be confident, make the move only when you r ready and don’t give your heart when you never even meet the guy physically and see the trust in his eyes. memang kiter kene cari jodoh, carik elok, yg kecewa hanya pengalaman sepanjang jalan kan? xkan sebab yg pertama, xde yg kedua… ape plak cite formula sains dan matematik macam tu kan? so jgn la langgar fitrah. dah terjatuh chentha tu, beribu kali gagal pon pedulik hape, redah je, abeh tu kalo x x jupe si dia ye tak….

 

i know for a fact we will all get the guy we want or even better one fine day… sometimes that ‘someone’ we can never imagine it is him until we finally destined to meet him, fall in love n believe again in love, believe me fren!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ME IN A MORE INTERESTING WAY

September 29th, 2006 by hannamustafar

I’m a prism. I refract light across the entire spectrum — changing and mysterious colors.
I can’t hardly wait, I’m patient.
I’m a kewpie (that adorable naked baby) turned Bulldog.

I’m a psychologist who thinks Freud was full of crap.
I scream and cry when I’m angry
I’m terrified I won’t remember but fearful I can’t forget
I don’t wannu, but I hafta

I’m lost in my organization.
I’m neither a patriot nor a terrorist.

I’m a mainstream emo.
I love fatigues but loath the military
I’m an independent woman who’s incredibly needy.
I’m cynical but still cling to my idealism.

My brother calls me the smartest person he knows without a brain.
I’m driven but too lazy to start.
I’m confident about myself but scared of everything.
Resting near my computer is a drumstick and a teddy bear.

I’m black; I’m pink.
I’m accused of being too serious – where is your smile – and teased for being such a goofball.
I’m defensive but its secretly easy to push me over.

I’m creative but conform to society’s demands.
I’m an aspiring civil liberties lawyer but a deep critic of the legal system.
I’ve been from trailer trash to Victoria Estates.

I’m an introverted conversationalist.
I’m Arwen, daughter of Elrond, and the Orc Commander; I will exert to wound you.
I’m a modern Victorian.

I’m Yossarian, I’m Anne Shirley.
I’m a thornless rose tangled along a short dagger.
I don’t want any children; I want ten.
I’m a spiritual agnostic.

I’m mature, I’m a child.
I’m a debater, I’m a dork (Okay, those aren’t contradictions)
I’m only one person, I’m influential.
My writing is sensual and emotional, I’m highly rational.

I’m the drill press in your ribcage, I’m cuddling on the couch.
I’m informed of how oblivious I am.
I crave violence in films; I’m a dedicated pacifist.

I’m from the boonies, but I love big cities.
I’m predictably spontaneous.
I’m Aurora and Maleficent.
I’m skeptical but I believe.

I’m the ocean and the beach — and the shells dotted along the shore.

http://athenamat.com/about-me/